First date: that requires underwear, huh?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
