I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
