And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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