so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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