whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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