I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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