i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
