I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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