only if we run a train.
done.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
