I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize