I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i barfeds in our rink
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
being pregnant is like rehab
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
