I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
