maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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