Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
