dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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