The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
