So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
