Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
