I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
