I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I supernannyed him into submission
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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