dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
