It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
