He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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