Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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