i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
if i died would you start the facebook group?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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