I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
