90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
