I'm drive I can fine osifer
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
