Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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