A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
