Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
