You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
