I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
