she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
