you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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