I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
