the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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