i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I want to fling myself into the sun
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
