you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
May the power of my ass compel you!!
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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