It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
