Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
