Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
