I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
