just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
