I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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