i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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