I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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