I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I currently don't understand fingers.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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