The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
