DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
