I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Randomize
