hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
