I have demons in me.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize
