ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
