oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
